I did it, I did it and I survived. Earlier this week after attending a day long workshop I was eager to hit the road and put my behind on a bicycle seat. After attaching the new rearview mirror to the helmet, so I could only see the tree tops on the other side of the road, it has since been fixed and now I can see behind my shoulder; I started pedaling. I kind of knew where I was going, if anything I was on an adventure, be what may I figured I could always use my phone and ask it to take me home.
The first hill came and went without much huffing and puffing and the bike seemed to glide over the roadway. I stopped about five miles into the ride and not knowing exactly where I was going I tried setting up map my ride app, no luck, it was taking too long and the sun does not wait for one that tarry for an app.
So off I went, riding blind but with some clue as to where I was going, as I tell the boys, " you are never lost, its just an unplanned adventure." After hitting the ten mile mark of the ride, I had a little mishap, the chain came off. The worse part of it, it was completely my fault, you see I am still learning the gears and how to shift and all that fun stuff, and somehow I messed up and off came the chain. The worse part was it was while I was climbing a very big hill. Bummer, I had to walk up the hill because I could not get started and find the right gear while straining to ride up this hill. But the high light of this event is it offered me the chance to try the app once again and low and behold it worked and now I knew where I was, best of all, I was not lost.
The rest of the ride was pretty uneventful, two dogs came after me, in which I learned you don't need to be fast, just faster than the dog on your heals. There were two more big hills and I did not pop the chain off again but I also could not find the lower gear to make the climb any easier, so I had the opportunity to walk and stretch out those calves. The part of the ride was the best, it was all down hill and it ended at the baseball field where I was able to pick up Mathew and walk home with him.
I love the opportunity to walk and talk with my boys, especially when its just the two of us. I have found at those times they are the more responsive and the most open to discussions. There are no tv's, no ipods, no other siblings, and no chores needing done during those times. Although I do enjoy some quiet time alone I relish and recharge the most during these wonderful times spent together.
As I continue to train for the big bike ride, I am glad for the opportunities to just walk my bike with my boys. When it is time to hit the road and ride for a week, I will gather my strength by remembering these special moments and be thankful for the opportunity to have more as they continue to grow into mature, responsible young gentlemen and yet set aside time to spend walking a bike with mom.
p.s. the entire ride was twenty miles, only five more rotations of that route to replicate day two of the tour. I can do this, I may not be able to move afterwards very fast, but I can do this.
Friday, April 19, 2013
writing assignment
Sometimes the urge is overwhelming to write something and I am glad to say this week was one of those weeks. Although it was not the true assignment I am glad to say I did something, maybe next week I will do the assignment. So here it is, I am not sure where it is going, but it was fun starting it:
“Take my hand, child, the time has come,” I reached for his hand and then hesitated for
a moment. His hands were well worn and
showed the trials and battles he had endured.
“Please, I am not
sure I am ready to know…what if….?” I
did not recognize my own voice, gone was the self confident young lady and she
was replaced with a small child who sounded lost and alone. I had become so scared my whole body began to
shake and I was not sure if I had the strength to even move my feet or raise my
hand to his.
“ Child, trust me, trust your ancestors. They have made this possible. It is time for you to believe in yourself as
they believed in you then and now. Your
ancestors will give you the strength when you need it the most. It is not my hand you grasp but all of them
united together.”
I closed my eyes, took a deep breathe, calmed my racing
heart and grasped his outreached hand. I
said a silent prayer asking for an open mind, strength to move forward and
guidance to accept the answers to questions not yet formulated. As I felt my body relax I gave his hand a
small squeeze to indicate I was ready; I feared my voice would betray me and
reveal how scared I still was, so I remained silent.
“ Sit on the ground in front of me, open your mind and your
senses. Keep your eyes closed, do not
open them till I instruct you. Listen to
the life surrounding you. Listen to the
chickadees in the pines, listen to the chipmunks making a nest in the hollow
log.”
I closed out my wandering thoughts and did as he asked. I found myself being entranced by everything
I listened to, and it felt as though I was not just hearing them, but I was
living through them. Suddenly I felt the
presense of another life force, it felt darker and predatory. I wasn’t alone in knowing we were being
watched, the other animals became silent and stopped moving.
“ there are those who do not want you to know the truth and
they will try and stop you. Alone they
may defeat you, but you are not alone, remember always you are not alone. “
He grasped my other hand and suddenly I felt as though I was
surrounded by a power so strong I knew the intruder could not harm me. I was confident now, stronger, my ancestors
had truly wrapped their arms around me in protection and nothing could harm me.
I heard a soft chuckle where the predator stood off to the
side. Slowly the chuckle became more
distant.
“I will be back, I have been very patient waiting for your
return. Soon you will know my name and
it will pass over your lips with
love. When you remember I will be there. Come and find me nidawi, so I can finish what
you started.” Nidawi means fairy girl
in omaha.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Proud new Owner
Well its official, there is no turning back now, I am the proud new owner of a new to me bike. Not exactly the bike I thought I would be buying this Spring, but who knows what each day will bring and what new endeavors?
This is what I thought I would be buying, isn't she a beauty? Check out the chrome :)
\
And this is what I purchased:
The one I bought requires a little more energy and surprisingly some new gear. Oh dear, I guess I will have to go shopping. The best thing is I got a heck of a deal on the bike, brand new it would have sold for $1200, I paid only $525; plus $90 for two new tires. That is one heck of a deal if I ever saw one, and now I can afford to go out and buy my kayak so the boys and I can get on the water before my big travels of May begin. Now to come up with a name for the bike.
So far this week I have only rode for 2 hours, not much I know, but I did ride in the gym for three hours so far this week. I am hopeful the weather will cooperate tonight and maybe I can get some more riding time. I am slowly learning how to ride again, I never had this fancy of a bike in my life before. Who knew your brake lever is the same for your gear shifts? Not this girl.
This week I have learned how to change my tires, which is a pain in the butt. What the little doo hickey is next to the chain and how to remove it so when it fails and your chain slips you can fix it. I have learned how to fix said chain. I have learned the computer that comes with the bike talks to me, which was very freaky. She must like sitting in the car because she never talked to me before I put her in the car and then she gave me the lowdown on my last ride which was over twelve hours ago. I have learned how to take off and put back on my tires, note you do not have to unscrew both ends all the way, if you do, keep track of the springs.
Most importantly I have learned gear is really really expensive. I need new sunglasses, shoes, shirts, pants, sun protection, jacket and I am sure something else I am missing. But all in due time and I will have it all and be styling as I go down the road.
When I stop and think what I could have had and what I do have, I am thankful. The one I have will get me in shape and challenge me to the fullest extent; and the one I could have had is just going to have to wait a little while longer. Maybe by the time I get it there will be room in the garage for it; now I am dreaming.
This is what I thought I would be buying, isn't she a beauty? Check out the chrome :)
\And this is what I purchased:
The one I bought requires a little more energy and surprisingly some new gear. Oh dear, I guess I will have to go shopping. The best thing is I got a heck of a deal on the bike, brand new it would have sold for $1200, I paid only $525; plus $90 for two new tires. That is one heck of a deal if I ever saw one, and now I can afford to go out and buy my kayak so the boys and I can get on the water before my big travels of May begin. Now to come up with a name for the bike.
So far this week I have only rode for 2 hours, not much I know, but I did ride in the gym for three hours so far this week. I am hopeful the weather will cooperate tonight and maybe I can get some more riding time. I am slowly learning how to ride again, I never had this fancy of a bike in my life before. Who knew your brake lever is the same for your gear shifts? Not this girl.
This week I have learned how to change my tires, which is a pain in the butt. What the little doo hickey is next to the chain and how to remove it so when it fails and your chain slips you can fix it. I have learned how to fix said chain. I have learned the computer that comes with the bike talks to me, which was very freaky. She must like sitting in the car because she never talked to me before I put her in the car and then she gave me the lowdown on my last ride which was over twelve hours ago. I have learned how to take off and put back on my tires, note you do not have to unscrew both ends all the way, if you do, keep track of the springs.
Most importantly I have learned gear is really really expensive. I need new sunglasses, shoes, shirts, pants, sun protection, jacket and I am sure something else I am missing. But all in due time and I will have it all and be styling as I go down the road.
When I stop and think what I could have had and what I do have, I am thankful. The one I have will get me in shape and challenge me to the fullest extent; and the one I could have had is just going to have to wait a little while longer. Maybe by the time I get it there will be room in the garage for it; now I am dreaming.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Training
I have to admit something, I need to get it off of my chest once and for all. Training everyday for this bike ride is killing me!!!!
Honestly I feel like I am a broken record that has a lot of skips. I get up in the morning at 5:40, I let the dog out, I leg the dog in, I feed the dog, I fold the laundry, I get dressed, throw on some extra deodorant and brush my teeth. I drive to the gym, turn on Pandora, turn on the kindle and I bike till even my wrists are sweating. I don't go anywhere except where ever my books take me, and those places have been some very scary lately. I go home, shower, fix the kids breakfast and maybe pack a lunch, rush mathew to band practice, take john to school an hour later and then go to work. Here is where the skipping comes into place, I do it all again five days a week and on the sixth day I just add an extra twenty minutes to the bike ride.
I am sooooo sick of the snow that I think I am going to scream in frustration soon. All I want is to buy a new bike, go out and ride all over the country side. I don't think I can survive much more of gym riding. I want to feel the wind on my face and the adrenaline of riding faster as a dog comes out and chases after me. I want to dodge the post winter pot holes and maybe feel a bug splat against my arm, note I did not say the face. I need fresh air and I need a change of view, I am desperate.
As the song goes by the Byrds:
To everything, turn, turn, turn
There is a season, turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
Well its time for spring to come and for me to turn my wheels on the ride with my bike. So if anyone out there has a direct line to mother nature could you please call her and let her know we are done with winter and it is time for spring to come for a visit.
On the bright side I was finally able to wear two sneakers to the gym this week, woo hoo after three weeks I am so glad to finally be able to wear two sneakers. This week is already looking better, now if only the snow would stop falling.
Honestly I feel like I am a broken record that has a lot of skips. I get up in the morning at 5:40, I let the dog out, I leg the dog in, I feed the dog, I fold the laundry, I get dressed, throw on some extra deodorant and brush my teeth. I drive to the gym, turn on Pandora, turn on the kindle and I bike till even my wrists are sweating. I don't go anywhere except where ever my books take me, and those places have been some very scary lately. I go home, shower, fix the kids breakfast and maybe pack a lunch, rush mathew to band practice, take john to school an hour later and then go to work. Here is where the skipping comes into place, I do it all again five days a week and on the sixth day I just add an extra twenty minutes to the bike ride.
I am sooooo sick of the snow that I think I am going to scream in frustration soon. All I want is to buy a new bike, go out and ride all over the country side. I don't think I can survive much more of gym riding. I want to feel the wind on my face and the adrenaline of riding faster as a dog comes out and chases after me. I want to dodge the post winter pot holes and maybe feel a bug splat against my arm, note I did not say the face. I need fresh air and I need a change of view, I am desperate.
As the song goes by the Byrds:
To everything, turn, turn, turn
There is a season, turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
Well its time for spring to come and for me to turn my wheels on the ride with my bike. So if anyone out there has a direct line to mother nature could you please call her and let her know we are done with winter and it is time for spring to come for a visit.
On the bright side I was finally able to wear two sneakers to the gym this week, woo hoo after three weeks I am so glad to finally be able to wear two sneakers. This week is already looking better, now if only the snow would stop falling.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Back to the beginning
Last month I was very fortunate to travel out to Staten Island and visit with my family. It has been over 20 years since I last drove out to see them, and this time I did not get lost, woohooo. Alright we got a little lost but nothing that was too scary. I was blessed to meet Sandy's future husband, he is very talented artist by the way, and to have dinner with the entire family. I don't know what it is about the City but they have some of the greatest diners in the country, and thankfully they took us to one. :) Over dinner Sandy preceded to tell me about our family history and how she traced us back to the first Hebner to settle in the New World. This is where it got interesting. Come to find out the first Hebner settle, are you ready, just north of Toronto Ontario in a small town called Markham. He was a blacksmith and he lived a very full life and had many children.
Now you ask where am I going with this little history lesson? Well I have considered my bike ride this summer not only to be a mid-life crisis event but also a pilgrimage. A pilgrimage to help me get focused on myself, my strengths, my weaknesses and my growth spiritually. Even as I get up everyday to go to the gym, kindle and iphone in hand it is a journey for me to escape the busy schedule I have with the boys and to just focus on me and my weaknesses. I am finding I can pedal faster, stronger and longer each week and I am confident that at the end of the ride I will raise my hands up and shout and triumph. And now knowing my family history I can raise my hands up and say I am home, I am back where it all started and just like the first Hebner I fought my weaknesses and my challenges and I made it.
After the ride is over, after the workshops I hope to attend, and a few beers have been consumed, I will be traveling up to Markham. I look forward to finding the first Hebner's stone in the cemetery and saying to him, " Thank you for making it against the odds, for facing your fears. I hope the determination you showed in the beginning is still being seen today through my journey."
Now you ask where am I going with this little history lesson? Well I have considered my bike ride this summer not only to be a mid-life crisis event but also a pilgrimage. A pilgrimage to help me get focused on myself, my strengths, my weaknesses and my growth spiritually. Even as I get up everyday to go to the gym, kindle and iphone in hand it is a journey for me to escape the busy schedule I have with the boys and to just focus on me and my weaknesses. I am finding I can pedal faster, stronger and longer each week and I am confident that at the end of the ride I will raise my hands up and shout and triumph. And now knowing my family history I can raise my hands up and say I am home, I am back where it all started and just like the first Hebner I fought my weaknesses and my challenges and I made it.
After the ride is over, after the workshops I hope to attend, and a few beers have been consumed, I will be traveling up to Markham. I look forward to finding the first Hebner's stone in the cemetery and saying to him, " Thank you for making it against the odds, for facing your fears. I hope the determination you showed in the beginning is still being seen today through my journey."
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Words of wisdom
Lately I have been having alot of trouble sleeping at night. I lay awake for hours on end thinking, and thinking, and worrying and then back to thinking. A few weeks ago I signed up to ride 590 miles around Lake Ontario all for the love of Tree Research. I thought long and hard about signing up. Then I overheard my dad mention to his brother that I was training to do a big bike ride. Oh boy, that was one step closer to signing up, I am not about to disappoint my dad, the person that taught me through example that if you work hard enough you can achieve anything. I have watched him work long and hard and now that he is retired he can enjoy the fruits of his labor. Such as enjoying time with his four grandchildren, buying a big tractor, buying a big red truck and completing lots of wood projects. When he was my age he was taking me for bike rides on the weekends and competing in the Cummins Bike Race on top of working full time. So this ride should be manageable, right?
The final reason for sending in the application, Walt Disney himself. I am a long time admirer of Walt Disney and all things Disney, so it should not surprise me he would be there when I needed him most. As I was ready to hit the send button on the bike ride application, I had some second doubts, and decided to stop and make sure this is what I wanted to do. I went over to Facebook and what is the first thing I see? A quote by Walt Disney himself, " Stop thinking about it, and do it." That did it, my decision was made, this had to be a message sent right from Walt himself at the exact moment I needed him.
Now that I have committed to completing the ride, the realization has set in. Hold on, I don't even have a bike to do the ride, what am I thinking? I have to raise how much money? How many miles is it a day? These and many more realizations keep me awake all night long for many nights. But if all I did was think about doing something, then nothing would get done. I can't remember where I heard it but another quote has been on my mind lately, " if it was easy, then everyone would do it." Well the ride may not be easy but I am sure it won't break me, at least I hope it won't break me. I ask my boys to give their best all the time, and now its time for me to practice what I preach.
So this weekend I went shopping for a new bike, or at least new to me. WOW have bikes changed in the last twenty years. I am truly getting an education on gears, wheels, brakes, handle bars, seats, shorts, helmets and so much more. Bikes are made out of aluminum, carbon something or other and other material that I am not remembering at the moment. Thank goodness we have a local dealer who can help me a long the way and lead me down the right path. Then apparently they measure you and have the bike made to your size, am I buying a bike or a dress? I am truly overwhelmed by all this information.
In the meantime while I sort through all this information I will just have to continue using the bike at the gym . But soon, and I am hopeful it will be soon, the snow will melt and I will be in possession of a new bike and I will be praising its perfect fit and how fast it moves. Then before I know it, the end of July will be here and I will be riding with a smile on my face and saying to myself," what was I so worried about, this is a piece of cake, and I raised more than my goal for tree research. " I look forward to the adventure ahead of me. I don't know what will happen or where I will go; then again its not about the destination, but about the journey.
The final reason for sending in the application, Walt Disney himself. I am a long time admirer of Walt Disney and all things Disney, so it should not surprise me he would be there when I needed him most. As I was ready to hit the send button on the bike ride application, I had some second doubts, and decided to stop and make sure this is what I wanted to do. I went over to Facebook and what is the first thing I see? A quote by Walt Disney himself, " Stop thinking about it, and do it." That did it, my decision was made, this had to be a message sent right from Walt himself at the exact moment I needed him.
Now that I have committed to completing the ride, the realization has set in. Hold on, I don't even have a bike to do the ride, what am I thinking? I have to raise how much money? How many miles is it a day? These and many more realizations keep me awake all night long for many nights. But if all I did was think about doing something, then nothing would get done. I can't remember where I heard it but another quote has been on my mind lately, " if it was easy, then everyone would do it." Well the ride may not be easy but I am sure it won't break me, at least I hope it won't break me. I ask my boys to give their best all the time, and now its time for me to practice what I preach.
So this weekend I went shopping for a new bike, or at least new to me. WOW have bikes changed in the last twenty years. I am truly getting an education on gears, wheels, brakes, handle bars, seats, shorts, helmets and so much more. Bikes are made out of aluminum, carbon something or other and other material that I am not remembering at the moment. Thank goodness we have a local dealer who can help me a long the way and lead me down the right path. Then apparently they measure you and have the bike made to your size, am I buying a bike or a dress? I am truly overwhelmed by all this information.
In the meantime while I sort through all this information I will just have to continue using the bike at the gym . But soon, and I am hopeful it will be soon, the snow will melt and I will be in possession of a new bike and I will be praising its perfect fit and how fast it moves. Then before I know it, the end of July will be here and I will be riding with a smile on my face and saying to myself," what was I so worried about, this is a piece of cake, and I raised more than my goal for tree research. " I look forward to the adventure ahead of me. I don't know what will happen or where I will go; then again its not about the destination, but about the journey.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
The End of the Year Travels
I was truly blessed this year with many places to see and experience. In October I was able to go to Illinois, a place that I don't believe I have ever visited in the past. On the way I sat next to a very nice elderly gentlemen that served our country in WW II as a Navy man. He mentioned upon sitting down that his wife was sitting towards the front of the plane, I asked if he would like me to switch with her so they could be together, his reaction was priceless. " Are you kidding me, I just got a free upgrade by sitting next to you. I have been married to her for so long that a little time apart will do us good." I cracked up over that and we preceded to talk the entire trip and he shared with me his long career as an accountant and also his long marriage to his wife, a very very long marriage. Come to find out, his wife's dad worked with Walt Disney at the very beginning of Walt's career in making cartoons. How cool is that, somehow Disney is always part of my conversations :)
After we landed he introduced me to his wife and asked for my contact information, I have not heard from him yet but I do not doubt that in the future I will. It just goes to show you how reaching out to your fellow man and talking to them you can take a long plane flight into a eye opening experience.
While in Illinois I made so many friends from all over the world. My biggest lesson of that week was.....we may live in a big world but its only as big as you make it. I shared beers with people from Texas, Denmark, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Germany, Italy, Netherlands and many others. I learned so much that my outlook towards all these countries really has changed to be more positive. Besides when a person from the Netherlands takes one look at me and says I must be Scandinavian it makes my heart skip a beat. I can not tell you how often I am told I am Irish, which I don't recall seeing any Irishmen in my genealogy.
The last big trip of the year was to......DISNEY WORLD. In case you do not know it, I love Disney and all that it represents. Hope, Make believe, dreams and an escape from reality. I am very fortunate to have a friend who works at Disney and is willing to share her Pixie Dust with me and my boys. Lisa is truly the definition of a true friend to me and to my boys, without her there is no way I could take the boys as often as I do. This year we were there to see the grand opening of the new Fantasy Land, and wow is it incredible. My favorite ride was Dumbo. On our first trip to Disney six years ago that was John's favorite ride and in years past the line was always so long it was near impossible to get on it again. This year though, the line was non existent and I was honored to ride it again with him. He may be nine now, but to me it was going back to when he was three and it was our first time. And for Mathew, this was the first year that I gave him more independence. He wanted to do a ride there is no way I could do, Mission to Space, the orange card style, puke-o- rama if I rode it. He road it two times all on his own and he felt like such a grown up when he walked off the ride and it made me proud knowing I could trust him to be responsible and to behave. Oh and one more thing, I got to meet my princess, Merida from Brave. It just goes to show you can never be too old to act like a child and be soooo happy to just meet a princess.
So as the year comes to a close I look back and think about all the wonderful places and people I have met and I wonder how can I top it? I don't know yet, but I am sure the man upstairs still has some great trips for me to go on and even more people to meet. I hope you will come back and enjoy them along with me.
After we landed he introduced me to his wife and asked for my contact information, I have not heard from him yet but I do not doubt that in the future I will. It just goes to show you how reaching out to your fellow man and talking to them you can take a long plane flight into a eye opening experience.
While in Illinois I made so many friends from all over the world. My biggest lesson of that week was.....we may live in a big world but its only as big as you make it. I shared beers with people from Texas, Denmark, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Germany, Italy, Netherlands and many others. I learned so much that my outlook towards all these countries really has changed to be more positive. Besides when a person from the Netherlands takes one look at me and says I must be Scandinavian it makes my heart skip a beat. I can not tell you how often I am told I am Irish, which I don't recall seeing any Irishmen in my genealogy.
The last big trip of the year was to......DISNEY WORLD. In case you do not know it, I love Disney and all that it represents. Hope, Make believe, dreams and an escape from reality. I am very fortunate to have a friend who works at Disney and is willing to share her Pixie Dust with me and my boys. Lisa is truly the definition of a true friend to me and to my boys, without her there is no way I could take the boys as often as I do. This year we were there to see the grand opening of the new Fantasy Land, and wow is it incredible. My favorite ride was Dumbo. On our first trip to Disney six years ago that was John's favorite ride and in years past the line was always so long it was near impossible to get on it again. This year though, the line was non existent and I was honored to ride it again with him. He may be nine now, but to me it was going back to when he was three and it was our first time. And for Mathew, this was the first year that I gave him more independence. He wanted to do a ride there is no way I could do, Mission to Space, the orange card style, puke-o- rama if I rode it. He road it two times all on his own and he felt like such a grown up when he walked off the ride and it made me proud knowing I could trust him to be responsible and to behave. Oh and one more thing, I got to meet my princess, Merida from Brave. It just goes to show you can never be too old to act like a child and be soooo happy to just meet a princess.
So as the year comes to a close I look back and think about all the wonderful places and people I have met and I wonder how can I top it? I don't know yet, but I am sure the man upstairs still has some great trips for me to go on and even more people to meet. I hope you will come back and enjoy them along with me.
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