Together

In the past year I have been blessed with so many wonderful experiences and so many challenging experiences.  The main blessing was I was finally able to close on our wonderful estate, it only took six months of trials and tribulations, but it finally happened. Most individuals would have given up during the process, even my lawyer and bank loan officer gave up, but I persevered and finally it was ours.   In the last ten months the boys and I have worked hard to make it our home.  In the rooms we have renovated our love is most evident, together we picked out the colors, the furniture and soon the decorations.  It is a place filled with love, laughter and personal growth.  We have learned how to work with mud, install windows, wallpaper ceilings, and install ceiling fans. 
But it has not been an easy journey, so many times I have laid awake at night worried about making the mortgage payment, paying for the renovations, and making it a home for my boys.  The point though is every morning I have gotten up and said ' we got this ' and 'don't ever give up'.  I won't give up on the vision I have for this amazing estate, I can't give up on this vision,  I have two boys that need me to keep going.  When friends or family see me they always tell me how lucky I am and how they enjoy seeing my passion and the work I am doing.  What they don't see are all those nights awake, or me passed out completely exhausted in the barn or in the yard after giving every ounce of energy that I have in me.  I have not shared those moments because to me its a sign of weakness and I don't want others to see that in my, ever.  But I have been thinking lately, if I am making this look easy how is that helping me or anyone else. 
This year has been a lot of work, and what I have learned is when you give something your all,  you will receive so much more back in return.  When things have reached their worse, especially emotionally, I have found one release, or therapy, my bike.  I have rode more this summer than I have in last four years.   Once I am on the bike I can clear my head and all I can think of is pedaling and speed and of course breathing.  Biking is my meditation, it makes my brain to  stop going in many different directions and allows it to calm.   I can work through everything, from my personal life to work to boys schedules and how to accomplish a project on the estate.  By the time I get back home my heart is racing, my mind is clear and I am a better mom because of it because now all I have to think about is my boys. 
As I embark on my fourth Stihl Tour des Trees bike tour tomorrow I am physically more prepared than I have been in the past.  Thanks to all the projects in the barn that made me stronger and all the therapy sessions on my bike.  But most of all I look forward to this week to work through the past year in one big therapy session.  It is no secret this tour has changed my life in so many ways, for the positive I would like to believe.  It has made me face my most inner demons and to conquer them one at a time. There are still more demons to conquer but the room is not so crowded anymore where they all dwell.   It has left me stronger mentally, physically and spiritually. 
Tomorrow is our hardest day on the tour, a lot of climbing and many miles to cover.  In the past I may have been intimated but this year I am not in the least.  If anything I am looking at it as a wonderful challenge and I am up for it this year.    This will be a wonderful therapy session and the most wonderful thing about it is I won't be going it alone.  I will be surrounded by so many friends encouraging me along the way and I will be encouraging them as well.  Together we can do more than we ever thought possible. 
That is my reflection for this past year, together we can do more than we ever thought possible.  With the help of my boys and my dad we have transformed an old barn into the beauty it once was over 50 years ago.  If anyone would have told me I would be doing this I would have laughed at them, but I am doing it, and apparently making it looking easy.  But tomorrow I will set out on one of the hardest rides I have ever undertaken and at the end of the day I will look at what I did and be proud.  Even if I don't finish the entire day I will be proud, because half the battle is showing up, and I will show up ready to conquer that demon.  That is what I want to leave you with my reader, just show up and try and you never know what you can accomplish and even the person who you think has their life together and has the easy life may actually not and just needs a little encouragement.  Reach out to each other and offer encouragement when you can because together we can make this world an amazing place for everyone.